T is in another class. He just started his second week and I am hanging out at the lake. We thought we had reservations at the campground by the school campus, which would have been ideal, but when we called to check the day before we were scheduled to arrive our names were nowhere to be found. It was disappointing, because I did enjoy the social aspect of meeting other wives while our spouses attended clas,s but I have to be honest with myself I hadn’t used that respite time from ministry wisely. I believe God gave me another chance by T and I being parked on the lake. It is VERY quiet here during the day and I have a wonderful view of the lake from the moment I get up until the sun goes down. There is much wildlife to observe including deer, squirrels, ducks, cranes etc. When the wind isn’t blowing so fiercely like it is today, I can hear birds singing to their hearts content in the trees and boats skimming across the water. I really do love seeing and being by the water. It calms my soul. When given the opportunity to just be still I normally find something to do even if its diligently scrolling on my phone or something to clean, My mind normally has a hard time at being still. I see this time at the lake as a gift so I have been more determined to just be still and be okay with not having anything on my schedule. To have no one to engage with face to face except Copper and spend some time reading and listening to Gods word. I am not going to lie last week was a challenge. My mind likes to wander even when I am working out but some how I found a routine and started going through the book of James with the help of the pastor we sat under in Colorado for five weeks while colouring scripture cards. These Christmas scripture cards may end up in your mail box or being pushed through your letter box. My colouring is far from perfect. Even with glasses on I cant always see the very fine lines, but know they were coloured with intention and love. I am continuing the process this week too as colouring seems to really help me listen and be still.
Copper and I have been taking walks every day. The campground doesn’t have walking trails, but its just big enough we can get out in the fresh air and experience different terrain. Some days we will walk in the grassier areas under the trees closer to the water edge whist other times we will stay on the gravel road. Its however the mood takes us and if there is a squirrel trying to ascend a tree that captures Coppers eye. I have also been experimenting with recipes, which some of them I hope to share in the coming days. I am loving the flexibility of our instant pot and have been using it instead of our RV stove top to brown and sauté food before pressing the soup, chilli, or steam button to finish the cooking process.
I have realized during this time of quiet and being still that I have been holding back on some things I have been wanting to explore. I have all the ingredients I need to formulate and make three face creams but I am fearful to try, find excuses to justify why I haven’t done it and the box continues to sit in our bedroom closet. I also want to dabble with sourdough bread. I have what I need to make the sourdough starter, but keep putting it off. The common denominator in all of this is fear of failure. I think its something that has always been lurking around in my life. Self-reflection tells me so. I would appreciate your prayers as I navigate this truth and work towards stepping more out in faith in other areas of my life as I understand the realities of decisions I have made in the past and present that were based on fear and fear alone.
Anyways, thats my thoughts, which are often deep for now. Know during this time many of you are coming to my mind and I have been praying for you.
Love to each of you far and near- Lou
